Unveiled at Texas’s famous deep-fried-food convention, inventor Mark Zable has said that his process of taking ravioli packets, filling them with Guinness, then quickly dunking them in hot oil (370 degrees for 20 seconds, in case you were wondering) took him three years to perfect. And the results are, well, peculiar.
The brand-new foodstuff has already been labeled as an alcoholic product, requiring deep-fried-food-loving Texans to be over 21 to gobble one down. They will soon be on sale for $5 per 5 pieces. Also, before you get too excited, the process has already been patented and the words “deep-fried beer” copyrighted by that industrious Mr. Zable.
Source: Asylum.com
I have a feeling this is either the best thing or the worst thing ever. I don’t think there will be any middle ground, you’ll either love it or hate it. I am already not a big Guinness fan so I have a feeling I could do without these. Unless they made a black and tan version.
I hate John Dino. I hate him more than any other human being on the planet earth. I hate him more than all of my ex-girlfriends, I hate him more than Spider-Man 3, I hate the little son of a bitch more than words can express. He looks like a fucking idiot in that picture, and I hope the next time I see him is when we’re both rotting in hell. I hate John Dino.
By the way, I’m stranded in Melrose (Thanks to John Dino) and at this point it looks like I may never get out of here. Oh, and it’s a dry town. You gotta be fucking with me.
This is going to seem like a What Really Chaps My Ass (There will still be a new one tomorrow), but I just can’t fuckin take it here anymore.
I just got off the phone with an interpreter, because we live a country where apparently the new rule is to not learn one fucking iota of English except “No speak the English”. Sorry that may come across as racist, but it’s the goddamn truth, and I had to sit on the line and play fucking patty cake with this dude, because the lady he was interpreting obviously is retarded when it comes to her fucking language too.
My co-workers are the laziest pieces of shit I’ve ever dealt with in my entire life. All they do is talk about their kids (None of them are older than me and I’m 25), who they fucked, how they’ll cut a bitch, and Twilight. Seriously, it’s either fighting, fucking, or if you’re on Team Jacob or Team Edward, or fuckin Team Super Gay Movies that girls watch that make the fat kid answer 20 more calls than he has to because we have to gib gab away about a bunch of fucking homoerotic vampires.
The stupid son of a bitch that sits ten feet away from me that looks like Igor from Young Frankenstein is like the 2010 Boston Red Sox. Slow and fucking sloppy. The average you’re supposed to be on the phone with a customer is three minutes. My numbers come in below that. This bag of smashed brain cells stays on the phone and nitpicks with a customer for ten minutes because he wants to win the fucking employee of the month award. “What is your home address?”. Didn’t we learn as kids we can combine certain words? What’s the fucking problem with saying “What’s”. Hell, take home out of that sentence. “What’s your address?”. WHERE’S THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THAT?! Then he spells his full name out for the customer, like they gave a shit, and because he’s greek his name is ten years long. I can constantly hear him talking about sports when he’s on the phone and he’s a Yankees fan. And all I hear all day is how “We have a great offense, we have great pitching, you guys fucked up in the off season”. Thank you I realize that. And what the fuck is with your we bullshit sir? You’re on the fucking payroll now? There’s such a job as Executive Fuckhead? AND TAKE THAT FUCKING JEAN JACKET OFF, IT’S 2010 FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!
It’s hot as a fucking oven over here. Listen I know it’s chilly outside, but that doesn’t mean we have to turn the heat up high enough to boil eggs on my friggin’ desk. Every time I get up to go and change it, all of these fat elephants start losing their minds. I don’t get it, if you’re a sweathog I thought you’re supposed to be hot all the fucking time, not cold? I’m certainly not the fattest person in here, not even by a long shot, so I guess I’m just puzzled as to why these fucking hippo’s don’t want to turn the heat down.
We’re supposed to do paper work, and answer the phones in this place all at the same time. Management can’t find enough shit to pile down on top of us. For some reason, I don’t do what the rest of this office does, which is nothing. I constantly answer the phone, all fucking day long, while I’m so far behind in my paper work it’s a joke. The only way I can post on this site is if I schedule 95% of my shit. I’ve complained more times than I can count and I just get a “We’ll take care of it”. Nothing beens taken care of. Nothing. I sit here, with as high of a blood pressure as a human can have, while people watch shitty drama’s from the CW. If you’re going to steal, watch a good show like Dexter, I wouldn’t be so mad.
I’d say I feel alot better about myself, but I’m here for another hour and a half. So if anything, I feel worse. As people with no imagination, no creativity, and no clue that this saying got old six months ago would say…Fuck my life.
So I’ve been busy at work which is why I havent been posting for the last few days but that hopefully ends today. Also I have been pretty defeated about our breaking news report that had to be taken down and then being treated like shit for posting it, when I did nothing wrong. This is the internet age everything is going to get out, there are no secrets anymore.
You may also ask like you did with Matty’s What Chaps My Ass why I have a picture of Frodo being kissed on the forehead as my picture. Well some douch at work actually has an 8.5 by 11 picture of this hanging in his cubicle. This radiates homosexuality. I sometimes see people and wonder when they gave up and just started doing things that would never get them laid or respected, well I witnessed the start of it with this. I strive to try to understand people and the figure out what makes them tick but this one has me baffled.
Also one more thing about work. Are you fucking kidding me with the people that sit two cubicles down and call me on the phone to ask me a question or tell me something. Legit I have a women that sits 3 cubicles away and CALLS me to have a conversation. Seriously are you to fucking lazy to walk 30 feet to talk to me? This is what is why Americans are fat they are way to fucking lazy to exert any energy and excersise, and this comes from one of the laziest people ever.
I know I said that was it about work but I have another. Someone else that sits near me downs Diet Cokes like a prostitute downs cock. I am not even kidding when I say they probably drink a 12 pack or more in a day. And you wonder why you have type 2 diabities?
Needless to say I’ve been pissed off this week and Matty’s What Chaps My Ass has clearly inspired me. Oh and next time if anyone ever gives us news again and it’s breaking we aren’t taking it down. So think long and hard (that’s what she said) before you tell us something because we will post anything, kind of like how Ron Burgendy says whatever is on the teleprompter.
First don’t even ask me how I found this or why I was browsing through Love Connection videos on YouTube. Second if this doesn’t make you laugh I officially hate you.
I fucking hate Facebook. You can’t do anything without being caught by your girlfriend, parents or bosses. I don’t feel sympathetic for this kid though, how fucking stupid do you have to be to believe that some hot girl would message you randomly and ask you to come to her place without ever meeting? Dumb fuck.
I hate facebook. This video sums up my hatred for it. I don’t need emails from you challenging me to a movie quiz. I don’t need to be updated of your status every 15 minutes. No one cares that you are going to the store, or feeling sad or have an exam. Just shut the fuck up about it. Sorry I just really hate facebook.
