• The fact that the picture above, was presumably taken on Christmas, has left my ass chapped beyond belief.
• Which brings me to something that I haven’t gotten to.  The Jersey Shore spinoff, “Wicked Summah” that is going to be based out of Boston.  At first, I thought this was pretty funny, until I really sat down and thought about it.  We’re going to look like dickheads.  People like the ones pictured above are going to get on this show.  Not a bunch of lovable slobs like the guys that run this website, no sir, it’s going to be a jam head parade on that show.  You know how we all laughed at the kids of Jersey Shore?  How we all fist pump at the bars now as a joke?  People are going to be doing that now thinking of us.  God forbid there’s a fuckin pink hat sports fan on that show too.  We’re going to be a disgrace.
• Funny thing is, I’d still like to try out just to show off my fist pumping skills.  Jose Joe has told many people loudly and proudly that I am the greatest fist pump artist of all time.  However, I’m pudgey, bald and I’m almost half way intelligent so I probably don’t qualify.
• I’m merely days away from the Elm Street remake and I actually find myself getting excited, which makes me think I’m a hypocrite.  I’ve almost watched every movie in the series since last Friday, and I do have to admit it won’t take alot for the remake to be a decent addition to the series.  I have to face facts, parts 2, 5, and Freddy’s Dead are terrible movies, so it’s not like a very high bar is set for this to be an okay entry.  It’s just the fact that it’s a remake of the first one, and that a whole new generation of fan is going to think this is superior than the original.  Ah well, either way I’ll be there opening night, and I’ll have a review first thing Monday morning.
• I hate my job.  I truly have never hated a job so much in my entire life.  Without divulging too much information as to what it is (I had to sign some privacy bullshit prior to coming here), I have to answer phones all day as well as do paperwork.  Thing about it is, as much of a lazy drunkard as I come across on the site I actually bust my ass at my job.  The only reason I bust my ass is because I work with a bunch of lazy cocksuckers that never log into their phones and who actually get a good laugh at how many phone calls I take.  Is it really that hard to pick up a fucking phone and take a little information down?  Instead all they go is gib gab about their pathetic lives, how they’re all hot shits (They’re all fat), and how this place would fall apart without them.  I’m actually betting on this place falling apart with them because I don’t think the steel beams can support their fat asses anymore.  The size of these people is the sole reason why the fuckin’ elevator is still broken.
• Darren Sharper, Pro Bowl Safety of the Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints, is a free agent and visiting Jacksonville and Dallas this week.  Why isn’t he visiting the Patriots?  Is it because he’s too naturally gifted?  What the fuck is going on with the management of the Patriots and the Red Sox?  Do they even give a shit anymore?  Should I give a shit anymore?
• Why are all my friends getting engaged, or about to get engaged, or getting married, or shitting out kids?  Is it me?  I’m going to be 26 this summer, maybe I should get my shit together.  Or maybe not.  I’m pretty sure the day a girl ties me down I’m going to be miserable for the rest of my life.  No more partying, no more being a raucous drunk.  I mean, is there any fun in that?  I go back and forth with it.  Today, I feel like I’m fine right where I am.  Slowly drinking myself into an early grave.
• I just heard some girl in work lose her fucking mind over the new Twilight trailer.  I’ll end off Chaps My Ass with this.  Twilight sucks.  If you like Twilight, you’re an asshole.

-Matty

1 people like this post.

Like