It all comes down to the third act.

I want to play this game so bad it makes my toe knuckle hair turn gray.  Little athletic ability necessary?  Check.  Get to hit people?  Check.  I’ll probably be the biggest guy out there?  Ring Ding Ding Ding Ding, yup I need this game in my life.

I wonder how long until this shit is dominating ESPN and Monday Night 防衛大　棒倒し 激闘 is giving Monday Night Football a run for its money.  Seriously, let’s take a look at some things Asians have brought to America.

An Italian plumber killing mushrooms for coins, huh?  Crazy Asians.  Bam – multi billion dollar video game industry.

Karate, huh?  Okay Bruce Lee – karate is for pussies.  Crazy Asians.  Bam – Boxing is dead, MMA taking over.

Eating dead fish with pieces of wood?  Da fuck?  Crazy Asians.  Bam – Absurdly overprices sushi places are the hotness.

You keep doing your thing Asians, I love it.

PS.  I noticed that each team has different color pants.  I wonder if back in the day, some guy at the top of the stick had his shirt ripped off, and the ref was like who are you, what team?  Dude was like, I’m Lee.  And the refs were like, bro, there’s like 50 Lees on each team you schmuck and you all look the same, DNA test it is.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the area

Were kids getting drunk, it couldn’t be scarier (boston accent, duh)

We’d wake up hungover, and then stuff our face

To celebrate the genocide of a near extinct race!

I’m no history buff so I could be wrong here, but Thanksgiving celebrates when the pilgrims and the Indians had a nice big meal, before the Indians got straight up merked.  Is that right?  Either way I am definitely down with any excuse to get disgustingly drunk, throw down an obscene amount of food, and have everyone in the family explain in detail the problems we have with each other.  In fact, why stop at Thanksgiving?  Were any meals shared with the Africans before they were tossed in a ship?  Did anyone ever break bread with Bin Laden?  Cmon now, it’s a celebration bitches!

A few things about Thanksgiving and Indians

1. I have no problem calling them Indians

I understand that this is offensive, but it also has some fun history behind it!  Columbus thought he was in India.  I’m in India, the people here are Indians – Columbus.  Boom roasted.  Seriously though, I don’t think I know anyone who says this word with hate or malice, and isn’t the main beef with offending people the hate and the malice?  Whatever Indians, deal with it.

2.  ”We” have no obligation to feel guilty about what happened to the Indians

There is no question that what happened to the people that were here before the Europeans is one of the most horrific things that has happened to a people in recorded history.  It was blatant European ethnocentricity, racism, hate, murder, and genocide.  It sucked.  But like my man Bart Simpson says, I didn’t do it.  Columbus was an Italian who sailed for Spain and did some horrible things.  The Pilgrims were from England.  This shit started happening before the Americas had modern day horses and before the Irish had potatoes, it was a long time ago.  It was a horrible thing to happen that I had nothing to do with.  Do I feel bad?  Yes.  Do I feel guilty?  No.

3.  Modern day Indians in America are hooked the fuck up

I was at Foxwoods this past weekend.  I played a bit of poker, a bit of blackjack, and I made a few hundred bucks.  It was a nice weekend.  Do you know how much the Mashantucket Pequot tribe made?  Okay, so I just did some research and it turns out they’re in $2 billion worth of debt, but still!  Casinos are moneymakers, I thought….  I also had a big rant ready about how they get to go to college for free, and my research again proved that this is not necessarily the case.   There is something called the BIA, the Bureau of Indian Affairs (even they call themselves Indians) They give out money to Indians going to college if they need it, which is sweet, I guess.  I was under the impression they got government funded porn stars sent to their houses.  Well fuck me.

Well, turns out being Indian sucks, what are you gonna do.  Happy Thanksgiving!

You ever see someone on the internet that just gets you. You’re just like shit… that’s deep… This little girl nailed this one, Aaron Rodgers makes me cry pretty much every weekend.  No way the Pats, or any team for that matter, has a chance against the Packers.  Straight up WAH session.  Another reason Rodgers makes me cry is when my sister drafted him she asked, “Who’s Aaron Rodgers, is he hot?”  Dude is heat flame fire hot you fantasy dominating bitch.

PS – You’re a Vikings fan sweetheart, better get used to crying.

It is Halloween weekend motherfuckers and I have a boner that would make Ron Jeremy blush.  Tonight I am going to my old college house, they are having a party, and it is going to be littered with a bunch of girls who were born in the early 90s putting on their best hoe uniforms.  Giggidy giggidy.  Slutty nurse, slutty cop, slutty Mother Theresa, you name it and these young creative minds will find a way to hoe it out.  Girls and their halloween costumes definitely falls under the category of I don’t know, and I don’t care.  I mean seriously, what the hell are you… ah who fucking cares you look great, nice taint.

I consider myself a master creeper, but as hard as I creep I’m only going to two parties this weekend, and I’m probably only going to see 100 of the millions of hot women showing it off this weekend.  And that is why Mark Zuckerberg is worth every penny of the 50 gajillion dollars he earns every second.  Facebook is going to bring me to halloween parties across the world, it’s a beautiful thing and I’m all for it.  So if you’re one of the 50 girls who I have never met, but have accepted my Facebook friend request, and I am stalking your life, do me a favor and hoe it up hard this weekend.  The Summer’s over, Winter is coming, and I need enough material to get me to Spring.

When was the last time you saw anyone wearing a jean jacket?

Clay produced the interactive Periodic Table of Swearing for Modern Toss. It was built in our Hoxton Street studio during our summer holidays. It’s constructed from over 100 buttons, CNC’ed and laser cut MDF, direct to media printing, over 100 meters of cabling, over 300 soldered joints and a whole lot of swearing!

Clay Interactive produced a literal Periodic Table of Swearing (video) for Modern Toss.

dangerousminds

How bout some inspiration boys? Christ almighty. We are a dying breed.

Seems to me he fell right off the face of the Earth again. Typical. Probably hanging out with those other unemployed assholes in the city. Occupying Boston Logan, Airport?